Domestic VIolence
Finding a therapist to Support healing and safety in times of Fear
WHO IS THIS FOR?
If you have been made to feel unsafe in your intimate relationships, this page is for you. No matter whether it has been moments, months, or years since you endured conduct you did not deserve, we are here to walk with you as many steps as it takes to find your healing.
Violations of safety in intimate relationships are particularly destructive to your sense of peace and security. Its impact often reaches far beyond the spaces in which you have been abused. You are on the road to safety, and we will walk it with you.
Domestic violence (or intimate partner violence) is not your fault.
If you have been abused
If you have been harmed in your intimate relationships, there is healing to be found. You may never find the pieces of who you were before you were violated in spaces so carefully crafted for your safety but we will walk through your trauma with you to ensure you come out the other side feeling empowered.
No matter the form of abuse you’ve endured or the length of time its been before you made your way here, you’re right on time and we are so proud of you.
If you are being abused
Asking for help is hard at any time. When you are still actively enduring abusive relationships, therapy is one of the most important resources in your toolkit.
A therapist who can support your emotional health and reinforce your confidence as you begin to reject the mentality will offer you a layer of protection from the mistrustful voice your abuser may perpetuate to make their abuse stick.
Even in the throes of having your power stripped by abuse, you are infinitely capable.
Supporting loved ones who have experienced violence
The feelings of powerlessness and defeat when someone you love is experiencing violence in their closest relationships are difficult to manage. Ripples of the pain they feel spread out through their loved ones.
While you are focused on supporting them, we are here to support you.
Through therapeutic tools and a non-judgmental ear, we want to give you the space to process your pain as you love them through such a difficult journey.
ABUSE BEYOND ASSAULT
While domestic violence may mean physical brutality, it can also manifest in a myriad of other forms of abuse. This list is not exhaustive, but it is a starting point for shaping the full spectrum of intimate partner violence beyond bruises.
Fear of your partner is always a sign that there is a problem. We are here to support you when you have experienced, or are experiencing, any of the following:
Physical abuse like control of autonomy or loss of agency by force (sleep, medication, consumption, or bodily function)
Emotional abuse like degradation of trust or power exchange, forced communication or withdrawal of attention, or constant comparison for the sake of undermining worth.
Social abuse by way of isolation through physical separation, restricted access to telephone or internet, alienating friends and family through negative behavior.
Privacy violation by doing things like sharing images taken or offered during intimate moments on a broader platform as a tool to gain power or cooperation.
Sexual abuse that forces participation in any sex act that isn’t wanted, even if consent has been given on previous occasions, as well as degradation in a sexual manner.
Harassment or stalking that invades your privacy and security by tracking your habits, activity, or whereabouts through physical following, technological methods, or intimidation.
Financial abuse in controlling all elements of banking or income to prevent autonomy or self-preservation in regards to finances or stripping power over property or investments.
Spiritual abuse in utilizing religious tenets to manipulate, shame, or threaten you. Forced participation in a religion you have not consented to practice also falls under this.
Coercion or control utilizing loved ones, image, hobbies, career, or other elements of your identity or support network to manipulate your behavior.
Psychological abuse which may include gaslighting, threats to safety or validity, emotional manipulation, and the provocation of a fearful environment
THERAPY TECHNIQUES
Knowing what to expect can be a security blanket when you are feeling ungrounded or fearful of what’s happening in your world. When domestic violence has been a factor, we will tailor your therapeutic experience to suit your needs (and not just overall, but we will adjust them to suit as needed in each moment). We can’t tell you exactly what that may look like, but we would love to give you an idea of some of the things you may get to try out during our time together.
Talk therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is often the starting point for creating a supportive healing relationship. This therapy may be trauma-focused or mindfulness-focused, or a combination of methods you work with your counselor to develop.
Creative therapies focused on expressing your emotions or experiences like art, music, journal, or narrative therapy. Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing (EMDR), relaxation, and mindfulness therapy can engage involuntary behaviors in supporting your healing and emotional openness as well.
You may experience a combination of any or all of these therapies, or work with your counselor to develop other styles that feel safe and supportive to you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I seek therapy with an open court case?
Yes!
We are protected under California Law from disclosing your medical information in court, and your therapist is not a mandated reporter of this type of abuse. What is shared in therapy cannot be used against you in court, and your therapist will not be weaponized for the purpose of protecting your attacker.
Where do I begin?
Anywhere that feels safe. There is no right or wrong angle from which to approach your trauma or your healing. Your safety and comfort are priority in your relationship with your counselor.
Wherever you need to begin, we are ready to join you there and walk down as many roads as you need to feel comfortable.
How can I manage the shame of sharing what’s happened?
Your emotions are valid, but your shame is not a reflection of your character. Feeling shame is a common reaction when someone has experienced violent trauma. The intrusion into your private life and personal decisions may create a defensive or shameful reaction alongside the pain you are feeling, but you do not have to work through that alone. We aren’t here to judge- not you, or the things you’ve experienced.
And here you are livinG, despite it all.
-Rupi Kaur
ENCOURAGEMENT FOR YOU
Take what you need:
It’s not too late
It’s never too late to heal. We can’t promise you will be the person you were before this happened to you, but we will do everything in our power to give you power that ensures you will never feel like you do right now, again.
There is no time where you are irreparable, and you are worth the energy it will take to heal. We know you have fought to get here, and this will be hard, but we are here with you.
You are not your trauma
What has happened to you does not define who you are, who you were or who you can be. There is so much else to the sum of your being, and there will be so much more life to live beyond this.
You may always carry the indelible marks of what has been done to you, but it is not your fault and it will never define what you are capable of. You are a whole person, made up of many brilliant pieces worth studying, even when you are hurting.
