Healthy RElationships
Finding A Therapist For Cultivating FUlfilling support in relationships
Can I Go to Couples therapy when my relationship is going well?
Whether you are romantically involved or not, you are in a relationship. At least one (look in a mirror, at the most pivotal relationship you’ve got) but likely quite a few. While traditionally, relationship therapy is focused on romantic relationships, there is vast benefit to be had in having healthy relationships in every aspect of your life.
All relationships change and shape the way you relate to the world, and as such, they all deserve the consideration of creating a healthy dynamic for all parties to grow.
Relationship health is not defined by sexual or romantic involvement. It is not on a time schedule or tied to the duration of the relationship. Instead, it is defined by effort, honesty and connection. Cultivating the skills you need for healthy relationships under the supportive guidance of a relationship expert will benefit you in any and all of your relationships.
With Your Partner
Seeking outside help to support healthy habit development with your partner is a wonderful way to reinforce your commitment to growing together.
Often in our romantic relationships, the unlearning of past traumas and relationship struggles can be an internal process, but one we need to go through together. A relationship expert can help guide that journey as a supportive conversation for you and your partner.
With Your Friends
Our friendships are a critical support network for not only our celebrations, but also our woes. Ensuring that we are engaging in healthy and authentic ways is important.
Therapeutic guidance can help you to be a better friend, and to reinforce the boundaries in your existing friendships. Whether you are struggling or flourishing, investing energy into your friendships will ensure you can have more fulfilling friendships.
With Multiple Partners
When there are multiple dynamics at play in a relationship, it can be more complicated to balance the needs of everyone involved. It’s important to be sure everyone feels heard and supported, and there is no better way to work toward that certainty than working with a therapist experienced in multi-partner dynamics.
Regardless of the structure of your polyamorous relationships, we can help give you the tools for success.
With Yourself
The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself, yet so many of us shy away from putting the effort into learning to love ourselves.
Taking the time and energy to work through your past experiences and responses with trained help in order to view those moments from a proactive lens can be powerful. You deserve therapeutic support for developing a relationship in which you find value and worth in all that you are.
KEY TRAITS FOR
RELATIONSHIP HEALTH
There are many types of valuable relationships in our lives that you may be looking for support in strengthening or improving. While those relationships will all have different needs and parameters, there are some things you should strive to find in every relationship.
Understanding your own needs and strengths is a powerful tool in putting value on the important facets of your relationships and the people within them- yourself included. Many of these traits feel like ideals when you’ve spent too long in relationships where your voice went unheard or you felt taken advantage of. But even if that’s been your past, it doesn’t have to be your future.
Use this quick guide to identify places you may need more therapeutic support- then let us help you reach for it. Together we can build the healthy, connected relationships you crave in every aspect of your life.
Frequently asked questions About RElationships
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Couples therapy can be useful even when your relationship is generally healthy. Many couples use a relationship check-in to strengthen communication, talk through changes before they become conflicts, or make sure they are still feeling connected as life gets busier.
You do not need to wait until something is seriously wrong. In fact, working on your relationship while things are going relatively well can make it easier to recognize patterns, communicate about difficult topics, and handle future stress together.
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It can. Therapy gives couples a place to notice patterns before resentment, distance, or repeated conflict becomes harder to address. You can practice communicating about difficult topics, learn more about each other's needs, and talk openly about expectations for the future.
Relationship check-ins can be especially helpful around major transitions such as moving in together, marriage, parenthood, career changes, caregiving, or becoming empty nesters.
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It is common for one partner to feel more ready for therapy than the other. Hesitation does not necessarily mean someone does not care about the relationship. They may be worried about being blamed, uncomfortable talking to a stranger, or unsure what couples therapy will involve.
A relationship check-in can sometimes feel more approachable because the focus is not automatically on identifying what is “wrong.” Instead, it creates space for both partners to talk about what they want from the relationship and what could make it even stronger.
Every person that walks through our doors needs to be there of their own free will. Your partner’s autonomy is valuable and should always be respected, but having a conversation about your hopes for therapy can be valuable. There is no shame in therapy, but we understand that the stigma can be hard to overcome.
While we won’t condone forcing someone into a counseling relationship who isn’t interested in having one, there are resources we can provide to support the benefits of seeking support to grow together.
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We spend so much time learning how to make others around us happy, how to acclimate and adjust our needs to suit others. What we do not learn, yet need to know, is how to find those needs and that contentment in ourselves. This can lead to destructive habits that worm their way into our relationship habits, setting us up to repeat the same habits and actions.
While learned dysfunction and trauma response may not feel severe or like overarching themes, spending time and energy on developing coping mechanisms is a valuable choice. Your personal relationship with yourself will always have a ripple effect of growing and improving the quality of every other relationship that carries weight in your world.
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A healthy relationship check-in is an opportunity to take a closer look at how your relationship is functioning with the support of a therapist. You might explore communication, emotional connection, intimacy, conflict, shared responsibilities, future goals, or areas where one or both of you would like to feel more understood.
Think of it less as “fixing” your relationship and more as giving it dedicated attention.
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Your therapist will help you talk about what is working well, what has changed, and where you may be getting stuck. You may explore communication patterns, recurring disagreements, differences in needs, intimacy, family dynamics, or upcoming life transitions.
The goal is not to decide who is right or wrong. It is to better understand your relationship patterns and identify practical ways to strengthen the connection between you.
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No. Relationship therapy can support people in many different types of partnerships, including dating couples, married couples, queer relationships, intercultural relationships, polyamorous relationships, and other forms of consensual non-monogamy.
Your therapist can work with the structure and values of your relationship rather than assuming there is one “right” way for a partnership to look.
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Then you can’t make it work. Not all relationships can be healthy ones, and that’s okay. What isn’t okay is creating or perpetuating a toxic environment to avoid failure. Going to therapy won’t make it less likely to work. It will offer you an extra supportive measure in exploring avenues that may help the relationship work. It may also drive home certainty about whether the relationship can continue or not.
Avoiding knowledge doesn’t make it absent. What is inevitable will remain true, but getting the help you need will ensure that no matter what that truth means for your relationship, each party will have a chance to be heard and supported through every step of the journey.
Therapy can help the break-up process be less harmful and more restorative by helping couples create and execute a break-up plan with additional support and resources from the therapist.
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Counseling Col:lab offers in-person couples therapy and healthy relationship check-ins in Midtown Sacramento, Marin County, and Fair Oaks, along with telehealth options for clients throughout California.
Our therapists work with couples and partners at many different stages of a relationship, including those who simply want to be more intentional about staying connected.
