Divorce & Parental Separation

Finding a therapist for Changing Family Dynamics

WHO IS THIS FOR?

When divorce or separation from your partner means upending the world of children, it can feel traumatic or even impossible to begin working through. It may feel like you have failed, but divorce is not a failure. It’s simply a recalibration of the most invasive kind.

It doesn’t matter if it’s been a long time coming or if you’ve been blindsided by an abrupt shift in your home life, it’s a difficult and messy change to work through. With so many logistical layers, the emotional ones can feel beyond your ability to work through.

You can do it, and we are here to help.

Book your free consult

For parents with young children

The daily details of adjusting to life with different parenting schedules and divided responsibilities may seem the most labor-intensive when there are young children involved. The finer points of their needs and schedules may feel overwhelming, or it may be painful to support them through transitions that they don’t have the language to understand just yet.

We are here to help you navigate the details- both logistical and emotional- in this particularly delicate transition with your littlest souls. Small children are resilient in ways we often don’t give them credit for, and we want to support you in nurturing that resilience.

For adolescents and their parents

In middle or older childhood, the challenges of new parenting dynamics can be difficult in an entirely different way. The emotional toll that separation takes on children and young teens may focus on where their own responsibility lies in the changes, questions about how it may work or why it happened, and a lot of heavy emotions.

These reactions, while potentially hurtful or confusing, are entirely normal. Answering adolescent questions clearly without violating your personal boundaries is key in navigating a shift in family structure at this age, and the support of a trained therapist in doing so will be a powerful benefit to each member of your family.

For adult children

Even in adulthood, the separation of your parents or sudden changes in family dynamic can be jarring. If you are craving support for questions or lingering emotions about the end of a relationship that has shaped your life, we are here to help.

Supporting your parents as well as nurturing your adult self through change is an important journey. Through every step, we will help you to balance your independent needs and the emotions that stem from a loss of structure you may not have realized you still relied on.

For parents of adult children struggling with starting or contiuing this conversation, let us help.

THE START OF SOMETHING NEW

With therapeutic support and a careful balance of truth, everyone can thrive at any age as family dynamics shift to accommodate new beginnings. That is, after all, exactly what an ending is—a chance to begin anew.

It’s not always a silver lining, but there is always something beautiful to be found in any storm or angry ocean.

Let us help you find your beautiful life amid the riptides.

New dynamic, but still family

The end of a relationship means a whole lot of things change. It can be a hefty shift in the tides, and maybe they feel more like a rip current as the shift of responsibility takes place. Untangling the threads of life in all the ways that are required at the end of a relationship in which children and lives have been shared may feel daunting. But even in the midst of change that feels consuming, there is one unshakeable truth that will remain the same: You are still family.

When family changes, it’s difficult. There is no getting around that. Frustration, hurt, fights and so much more may prevent the parties of a newly divided relationship from feeling any sense of togetherness at all. Maybe former partners will have no relationship, and that’s okay. The children of those partners, however, will still be the children of both. They are still shared, with each party a parent and relationship all their own. Our relationship experts can help guide you through the messy, confusing parts of untangling while still honoring the one space in which you will remain together—as the parents of the children you’ve created.

Tides Change

Life and emotional shifts are not as predictable as the pull of the tides, but they can be supported and waited out, just as the tide can. Letting the emotions of parental separation wash over you, whether you are the parents separating or the child caught between the rock and the raging water, is sometimes all you can do.

It will not always be so messy, painful or confusing. Relationships and love are eternally evolving chaos in every form, but the tides will turn. Take charge of their direction.

All the water metaphors in the world won’t support the hard changes you have ahead of you, or the questions no one seems to have the answers to. There’s no guarantee there will be easy solutions, but with the support of an experienced therapist, we will help you find your way forward. Whether it’s a single answer or a step by step slow draw toward whatever comes next, we know you can do it and we want to help.

When your parents are splitting up

As children, we grow by the guidance of our loved ones. Often, the relationship our parents set for us is a model by which we hold up and consider other relationships as we move through our lives. This can express itself in a myriad of ways, but there is no escaping the gravity of our parents’ impact on the way we experience relationships.

Changes to that formative dynamic, even if you recognize that it’s for the best, can feel traumatic and confusing. You may feel you are too old to be so profoundly impacted by your parents making the decisions they need to lead a fulfilling life, but you are not. It’s okay to feel caught off guard by such a monumental shift in the fabric of your world.

While your parents formed your ideas for relationships, they are moving toward what fulfills them now. That may hurt, but it will heal. It’s imperative to work through those changes on your own emotional journey, and we are here to help guide you through those questions and confusion.

When you’ve reached an end in your relationship

Endings aren’t a good time. That’s a pretty universal truth. When you’ve worked through a relationship and its end is the healthiest option, it’s time to begin releasing the expectations from before.

It’s an intense struggle between what is and what could have been, but there is no struggle more intense than staying somewhere that stifles your growth either through innocuous incompability or unsafe circumstances. No matter how you arrived at this ending, please know that it’s okay to grieve. Just because you are feeling intense and difficult emotions does not mean you have made the wrong decision.

Having an ear to work out your fears, worries and concerns as you work through the emotional and logistical stages of your new beginning can make all the difference. The hardest part is often getting started but you don’t have to do it alone. Our qualified therapists are ready to be that difference for you, so let’s begin again together.

Frequently asked questions

There is a myriad of reasons you may seek the support of a counseling team to move through the process of a relationship’s end with you but none of them should have any bearing on your legal standing.
Despite social stigma, therapy is a part of a support puzzle. It communicates that you see where you need help and you are reaching for it.
The legality of this ending is something that we have no jurisdiction over, but we can help you to understand the way you feel through the process. This clarity will offer no drawbacks in your legal case. It is a proactive step toward the future that will benefit yourself and your child(ren) with no legal ramifications.
Therapy is for you. It is not for your legal team, your former partner, or anyone else impacted by these changes. Through the therapeutic support of your counseling relationship, you gain the space to sharpen your focus on the more black and white aspects when you are working with your legal team. In fact, working with a therapist could well be a benefit for your wellness throughout what can be an incredibly stressful time.
The support of a therapist will allow you an outlet for the emotional and personal elements of this end. Our support is not legal advice, and it cannot take the place of such, just as a divorce or custody attorney cannot take the place of a therapist on your team of support specialists as you work toward your next steps.
That’s up to you. While your primary counseling relationship needs to be clearly defined, you are the person who gets to define that. If you want to come to counseling with your former partner and work through things together to get a fresh start without some of the struggle that led to your parting of ways, we welcome you. If counseling is a space you want to focus on your own growth and healing, there is room for that. Counseling can also be for the entire family, children included.
If you’d like to establish multiple counseling dynamics in order to address any or all of the above needs, that’s open to you as well. You have options, and we have therapists to meet you on any and all of those avenues.
It can be daunting to realize there will be little to no space from a former partner as you continue to work together to support the younger members of your shared family. However, this does not mean there will be no closure for you.
Through therapy as well as the concrete end to the portions of the relationship that no longer served you, closure is something you can achieve no matter the proximity to your former partner. While you may move through a myriad of emotions that feel difficult to confront while continuing to have a parenting relationship, you can work through the loose ends and find closure for yourself in everything that is no longer a part of your life.